They say that when it rains, it pours; when life gives you lemons, make lemonade ( or better yet, a glass of tea); and look on the bright side. But when bad news comes, you want to believe there is still hope for things to improve. What tea do you go to when you need some comfort? Ceylon with a healthy splash of whole milk is a personal favorite and so is a fresh Darjeeling. Get your favorite teapot out and brew up your best while we talk tea and words of comfort.
Taking Some Time
Grieving is a long, empty space of time to find yourself in. The pace at which most of us live life does not allow for much time, nor do we naturally want to take it even when we can. The rest of the world keeps moving on though, and when troubling times are rocking your boat, taking time to gather yourself and see your grief through to the end (because it does have an end) is important. Not sure where to start? Do you have that pot of tea brewing yet?
The simple act of going through the motions of something familiar will help you get started. Grief can seem a cruel guest to share a pot of tea with, but it is not as unkind as you might think. Grab a journal if you’ve got one and start writing down your thoughts. Get angry at grief and unfortunate times. Don’t hold your emotions back. By all means, get these thoughts out where they won’t consume you from the inside. If you’ve got a good friend, talking things out with them can be even better. Just make sure to invite the type of friend who can listen well.
Being a Friend
It’s often comfort enough for one who is grieving to simply know that she is not alone in that process. It helps to know others have faced troubling times and have found strength to press forward. If you can’t be that friend who shares difficult experiences, you can be a good listener. May I suggest bringing the afternoon tea to your grieving friend? As you take time to prepare the tea, you show hospitality, kindness and that you are ready to take time to be with that friend. It is an invitation for her to share what is weighing her down. You don’t have to know what to say. Just listen, sip, and be with her.
When No Friend Can Be Found
Sadly, friends can become scarce when tragedy strikes. You hope you have found a few who will not, but that may not always be the case. William Nicholson wrote, “We read to know we are not alone” in Shadowlands, a film on the life of C.S. Lewis. Believe it or not, companions can be found in books. Tea also goes well with a good book.
This message may come at a time in your life when you are the farthest from grief, but these times come. Take note and take comfort. They don’t last forever. And thankfully, they don’t come to most of us very often.
